Vi ses, København

Well, the 121 days are over. This time tomorrow I'll probably be pulling up the driveway, Ruckus in the window spazzing, and a warm house with its distinctive and familiar smells and sights waiting for me. As long as my flight isn't delayed or canceled by the mini-blizzard happening in Denmark right now...

I know that the novelty of this experience will last a long time (I'm sorry in advance if I talk about it in excess when I return). Even now I am aware that I will remember Copenhagen in pieces. I won't be able to see the light-rail without thinking of my morning commute on the S-tog. When I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'll think of standing at the kitchen counter at 8 o'clock at night making my lunch for school and chatting with Irene. I know I'll miss Denmark, but forever I'll be reminded of my time here. It's one of those experiences that either never leaves you or takes a very long time to linger away.

Regardless, this is the end, there's no denying that. This is the final chapter for now. But it's certainly not the end of my travels; I refuse to think so. That's why I am saying "vi ses" which is like "see you later" rather than saying "farvel" which is more of a formal goodbye with an unknown return.

It's hard to believe it's really over. When I imagine departing I see this very distinctive picture: I am at the gate, the huge 747 plane visible through the glass windows ahead of me, and on my shoulders I am holding my heavy carry-on bag filled with Christmas gifts. I hand over my boarding pass, somewhat hesitantly, to the ticket attendant who procedurally and routinely rips it. After receiving the remains of my boarding pass (another ticket I'll add to my growing collection), I look back one last time, longingly, but happily at Denmark. There's a silent exchange that happens between me and this country, if that's possible. I let it know that however small Denmark may be, it will always be big in my heart. I let it know I'll be back someday, hopefully in warmer weather. I'll turn towards the gate, take the few steps into the hall that will lead me to the plane. When I am out of sight, the music will start and the screen turns black. That's when the credits start to roll.

I see it this way because I imagine it like a movie. It couldn't have been real. It was all a movie. Now, let the credits roll.

Getting closer

As the days of my departure encroached a week ago, I was excited by the thought of going home. Now as the days linger closer and closer, I am still excited about going home, but it's getting tougher to face the fact that I'm leaving. There are certainly facts I miss about America-- free refills at restaurants, exchanging "hellos" and smiles with people on the street, familiarity in general, and of course my family, friends and Nick. But there is something about Denmark that I know has changed me a little. It probably won't be noticeable to others, but I can feel it and I know it's there. Not to sound cliche, but Denmark has become a part of me. This is an experience I will never forget because it is absolutely unique and irreplaceable.

The past few days I've been filling to the brim with as much activity as possible. In a few sentence blurbs, I'll explain my last week's activities. On Thursday night I went to the ballet with a few friends. We saw "Sleeping Beauty." The music was of course wonderful and the performance. On Friday I went out again with a few friends. We cruised around Copenhagen, stopped in a few bars, and in general wandered around soaking up some of the last night life experiences. Saturday night again I went out, but for a more relaxed evening. The same group of us and some additions had a hygge night at a friend's apartment with wine, cheese, and good conversation. Sunday I spent the day with my host family at Irene's grandmother's house. There we ate traditional Christmas desserts and were given advent gifts. Monday and Tuesday I finished up my last academic papers and turned them in. Monday evening was the celebration of Saint Lucia (a catholic Saint who would feed the poor Catholics in the catacombs of Rome on the night of the 12th). In honor of the Saint, there are parades in the city where Danes dress up with candles on their heads (as Lucia did in order to free her hands to feed the poor) and march around singing Christmas hymns. The celebration is more a fun festive event rather than religious. It isn't an elaborate event either. The parade that I viewed with friends was near Nyhavn and involved a herd of kayakers paddling down the canals with decorative lights adorning their kayaks.

Today, Wednesday, was probably one of my best days in Denmark. In the morning a group of us gathered a friends apartment for a farewell brunch celebration. We successfully made a very American selection of food-- pancakes, scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, yogurt, apples, and chocolate cake. The meal was delicious-- it was nice to eat American food again (although it's unfortunate we didn't do it in the middle of the semester when we were all pining it). We sat around the table after and talked for awhile. As I said before, it's getting harder and harder to imagine leaving, especially the good friends I have made here. Later in the night, after I had come back from visiting Markus's boyscout troop with Carsten, I joined my friends again in Copenhagen. We lingered in a few cafes together and drank hot chocolate. It wasn't a fancy outing; more just an excuse to squeeze more time in together.

On the train ride home and then the walk to the house, I thought about how significant this experience has been in my life. It's hard to imagine going back to Philadelphia and I think it will take some adjustment. I've said it before but it really is true that this is an experience completely my own. I can blog about it and tell everyone what I did, but it's not the same as being there. It's something special to me and a time I will always hold close to my heart. It happened so quickly as well. And when I think about it, four months is an extremely small fraction of my life, but these months have been some of the most impacting on my life. I can already tell that I have changed my perspective on many subjects and life in general. It's nothing specific that Denmark has or DIS that has done this, it is more the independence and the growth I have gone through while being here. I don't feel as though I am a completely changed person, maybe modified slightly in a positive way.

I was listening to a Modest Mouse song as I sat on the nearly empty train and the lyrics fit very well:

It's hard to remember,
We're alive for the first time
It's hard to remember were alive for the last time
It's hard to remember,
To live before you die
It's hard to remember,
That our lives are such a short time
It's hard to remember,
When it takes such a long time

Although I am young and have many years to experience new and exciting things in the vast world, living in Denmark, traveling Europe, and meeting an eclectic group of people has made me feel as though I am truly living. I am taking advantage of every moment-- even in solitude. I may not always be doing something life changing; I may just be watching "Bones" on my laptop, but I am here. I did this, on my own. That in itself is exciting to me. It's getting more difficult to come to the realization that it's almost over and with every hour it's getting closer and closer. The next few days are going to a be whirlwind of sadness and happiness, of jamming in as much Danish culture, time with my host family, and saying goodbye to my friends (as well as last minute Christmas shopping).

Every day I fluctuate between being ecstatic to fly home and depressed to leave. I haven't cracked open my suitcase to start packing. I don't really want to because then I'll know that it's real-- that I'm leaving and I won't grapple with the back and forth anymore. In my eyes, it's better to have the conflicting feelings than not to because I won't be here to. If that makes sense. It does to me.

Winding Down

The inevitable countdown has begun. Nine days. It’s hard to believe that it was three months ago that I came to Denmark, now it’s closing in—and quickly. Classes are finishing and final papers are being turned in. Luckily I don’t have any final exams, just long papers. But there is so much more to the close of the semester than the actual academic portion. I’ll be leaving my “home away from home” as well as the life I’ve created here. Being in Denmark has been something that is unexplainable to anyone else. In a way, it’s been like living a double life. What I’ve experienced here is truly my own. I appreciate that and feel lucky to have had the opportunity to be truly independent.

The winter in Denmark came abruptly and I’ve been spending my last few days trudging through the snow. Almost every day there has been some sprinkles of snow falling from the sky. Copenhagen has transformed into a winter wonderland. I can’t remember the last time I stepped outside and didn’t see my warm breath in front of me. Yet, I’ve become accustomed to the cold. I never thought I’d be able to brave it. Of course, every morning I do bundle into many layers. Sometimes I have so many on that I feel like Randy from “A Christmas Story” when he can’t put his arms down because of his snow suit. But even if I look ridiculous, I’m warm. Only my face peaks through all the clothing. Hats and gloves are always a must, as well as leggings and scarves.

The days go by quickly—literally. The sun rises late in the morning and is only bright for about an hour at midday. It never seems to actually reach the top of the sky. It makes mornings difficult and getting out of bed can sometimes be a victory in itself. The sun starts sinking in the sky around two o’clock and is completely dark around four. I’m not really fond of the creeping darkness. I miss the sun and the warmth.

It seems that everything is coming to a close here—final curtain call. DIS is preparing for the departure of the students with announcements about practical issues such as returning textbooks, departures, and everything else in between. Classes are finishing and teachers are bidding goodbye to the students. I can’t say that I’m against this—I think I’m ready to come home. But it feels like this semester went by in a blink—a short flash and it was all over. It feels like yesterday yet at the same time it feels so long ago that I came to Denmark. At times it seems as though I was only here for a day, yet others I feel like it’s been years since I slept in my own bed. It’s a quite confusing feeling—being pulled in different directions. I’m sad to leave, but I’m glad to be going to my real home. I know I’ll miss Denmark and it feels almost premature to be talking about this because I have ten days left. Nine days. I’m going through a roller-coaster of emotions constantly it feels like. Sitting with my host family at dinner, it pulls at my heart strings thinking that it’s uncertain when I’ll see them again. They say they’ll visit America, but it will never be the same as these four months. Nothing ever will. It’s been difficult facing the fact that most the people I have met this semester I will probably never see. It maybe be a negative way of looking at things, but really I’m only thinking about it because it makes me upset. It’s silly but I’m even sad thinking about just not seeing the same faces in classes, even if I never spoke to someone or held a long conversations. The reason for this I believe is because in my mind I know we all shared something similar. We uprooted ourselves from our lives in our comfortable, safe, America. We all transitioned into living in another country completely different from our on. Because of this we share an unbreakable bond—a common experience that not many others can relate to. We are united in this way. It’s going to be even more difficult to say goodbye to the friends I’ve made here. I suppose I could always remember how it has affected me rather than how I’ll miss it.

Time here is fading and my departure lingers around the corner. I am determined to make the best of the last few days.

The City of Lights and the Big 2-1

Like a romance novel, Nick and I boarded a plane to Paris Friday night for the weekend to celebrate my 21st birthday. It was casual, no big deal. It felt like fiction.

We arrived later than we anticipated due to another delayed flight. Apparently Copenhagen airport does not know how to handle snow. But the time didn't matter, we were going to Paris! We rode the train into the city and outside the window we could see the snowy city at night. When I first saw the Eiffel Tower in the distance, I let a small squeal of delight.

Nick and I were determined to fit in as much sight seeing as possible in the short weekend we were in Paris. On the first morning we visited Versailles. Snow was falling fast at the palace and it made it even more beautiful. Nick commented that we were lucky because we got to see Paris in a way most people don't-- covered in white, fresh snow. The palace was of course magnificent and gigantic. The rooms were lavish. Anyone who says nothing compares to Versailles is correct-- it is the epitome of luxury and embellishment.

As the snow began to turn into slush, we made our way to the Louvre. Again, I was ecstatic just to be in front of such a famous building. It felt surreal. Inside the giant glass pyramid was a mass of people. Nick and I zig zagged our way through. Our first destination was of course the famous and undeniable Mona Lisa. It was much smaller than I had imagined. While looking at it, Nick and I both questioned why it is famous. Neither of us are art historians obviously or even art buffs, so we couldn't come up with a logical reason. After the Mona Lisa we strolled through the Louvre. The art museum has got to be one of the largest galleries. There is a huge range of different pieces and every wall is covered with art work. It would take days to see every piece that the Louvre houses. Nick and I focused on hitting the highlights: the sphynx, the statue of Aphrodite, and a few other key portraits.

Because we only had one real night in Paris, we jammed it with as much sight seeing as possible. Next on our Paris Bucket List was the Arch de Triumph. Check. Then on our way to the Eiffel Tower we stopped at the Christmas markets. There we feasted on Churros covered in sugar.

Paris is especially beautiful when it is adorned with Christmas decorations and crisp snow. But the heart of the beauty is undeniably the Eiffel Tower. There aren't many words I can use to describe it but it was breathtaking. Nick and I then dined at a small cafe type restaurant for dinner. The staff was very Parisian and didn't hide rolling their eyes at all. But that is the stereotypical French that I had heard so much about.

On Sunday morning, my birthday morning, we checked out of the hotel and did some final sight seeing. We stopped at the Eiffel Tower to see it up close in the daylight and then continued on to Notre Dame. Mass was being held but there were still a lot of tourists taking obnoxious and cheesy photos of themselves with the statues and what not. Nick and I laughed and were somewhat disturbed by the annoying pictures being taken. But we didn't let it bother us too much, we mostly mimicked it.

We headed back to Copenhagen where we would spend Nick's last two nights. On Monday we toured the rest of Copenhagen and spent time with my host family before Nick had to depart. Together we saw the Little Mermaid statue that I've been anticipating seeing for months. She was away in China for the World Expo exhibit but returned in the beginning of December. That night we dined with my host family and enjoyed Domino's pizza. My host family bought me a small fødselsdag cake and sang Happy Birthday. It was sweet of them but I was feeling very sad not to be celebrating in my real home. In all honesty, it my birthday didn't really feel like a birthday because I wasn't surrounded by my family. Yet I am very satisfied with how it turned out-- I was able to be with Nick and my host family really tried help me celebrate.

On Tuesday morning I begrudgingly went to the airport with Nick. The time he was here went by too quickly. And when I returned back to my Danish home, I felt a little empty without him. It was such an amazing trip with him and felt like a mini vacation inside my giant study abroad vacation. Both of us are truly fortunate to be able to travel together.

Nick's Visit

After our mini Thanksgiving vacation in Amsterdam, Nick and I headed towards Copenhagen. Of course our flight was delayed and we were left sitting the airport, once again. This time I was just happy we were together and wouldn't have to scramble to find each other.

The next day I unfortunately had to attend my classes and survive my final Danish exam while Nick hibernated in my warm host families house. The day seemed to inch by and I was relieved to finally walk through the door around five o'clock. Nick had somewhat made himself comfortable and was talking with Irene when I arrived home. I was glad to see that everyone was getting along well. I knew that Nick would like my host family and they would enjoy his company as well. We all sat down to eat together and have a hygge night.

It had been perpetually snowing since the day I left in Denmark. And the snow was now piled high in the back garden. Unfortunately because of the snow it severely slowed the trains down to a frustrating pace. On Tuesday Nick and I stayed in Greve. We walked to the beach with Nana in tow and took some pictures of the snow that blanketed the sand. Nana had a fun time jumping up and down along the banks of snow. Nick took his cameras and we walked along the scenic view. Later in the day Nick and I shopped at Bilka to buy supplies for dinner. We were concoting one of our favorite meals-- shrimp/chicken Caesar salad wraps with old bay for my host family. We didn't struggle too much in the kitchen and everyone seemed to enjoy the meal (all the wraps were devoured). I was especially happy to have this meal because it reminded me of home and something Nick and I do together.

On Wednesday Nick and I braved the cold and headed into the city on the very slow and unpredictable trains. We walked to Nyhavn and along Strøget. We briefly took refuge at DIS in the warm lounge. After stopping by Baresso (the Danish version of Starbucks) and sipping some hot chocolate to warm our numb toes, we visited Tivoli. After September, Tivoli closed for the winter and then briefly reopened for Halloween weekend. Tivoli recently reopened as it always does during the Christmas season. Tivoli in all seasons is magnificent, but it is Christmas time that Tivoli is truly known for. All along the park were strings of bright twinkling lights, miniature Christmas trees adorned with shiny ornaments, and numerous Christmas market stands selling warm and delicious goodies. Tivoli was even more beautiful this Wednesday evening because of the dusty snow that covered the park. It reminded me of the "Symphony of Lights" in Columbia that I would visit every year with my family when I was younger. Not to be cliche or cheesy, but Tivoli around Christmas time is magical. It represents good tidings and innocent fun along with the Christmas spirit.

After a few classes on Thursday Nick and I went to the Positive Psychology final reception dinner (I asked in advance if it was okay for Nick to come with me). In the reception hall all the Positive Psychology students and professors gathered for a buffet style meal and a final goodbye with wine and dessert. Some students got a bit rowdy but it was a fun time. I was able to introduce Nick to all my DIS friends who come from all over the country. The Positive Psychology group is the people I have spent the most time with in Denmark. We traveled to Jutland together as well as Scotland. The final reception felt like a closing ceremony at camp. I was sad to think that I most likely will never see many of the people again. But, like many campers from previous summers, I'll remember them. With each transition of my life I think this, like Jemicy and high school. It's funny how people really do come and go in your life. After the dinner Nick, a few friends and I headed to a popular student cafe for a bit. There we continued our conversations and reminisced about the semester.

Friday morning I took Nick to Christiania. Unfortunately we couldn't stay long because of our flight to Paris (I say unfortunately, but it's not really unfortunate at all). Briefly we toured Christiania and I showed Nick "Pusher Street" where all the drug deals occur out in the open. It wasn't much of a shock because we had just come from Amsterdam. We then ventured the airport where we would depart for Paris, the city of lights, and my twenty-first birthday celebration!

Amsterdam

I didn't think it was possible. I didn't think I could manage to get myself on the metro, to the airport, passed security, to the gate, and on the airplane towards Amsterdam. But, I did it. Of course there were a few hold ups along the way; I took the wrong street towards the metro, took the wrong metro, had to back track to the correct metro, dealt with a two and half hour delayed plane, sat on a plane while the ice was cleaned off, ran around baggage claim... but I made it and there was Nick waiting at the arrivals area for me. We were at last reunited after a very hectic evening. Of course during all of the struggle to get to Amsterdam, Nick was in the dark because we obviously had no way of communicating. But the snow in Copenhagen didn't keep me from making it to him.

Looking back I'm not really certain why I chose to spend my Thanksgiving in Amsterdam; it just seemed like a fun place. There is some tourist atmosphere, but it's nowhere near as much as other cities I'd been to. As for activities, I relied on the opinions of others as well as the guide book my mom left for me.

I bought tickets in advance for the Anne Frank house beforehand for Saturday morning, which was a wise decision since the line stretched around the block. The museum isn’t really a museum—it’s the actual house Anne Frank and her family hid inside for many long days and nights while the Nazi regime took over Holland. The house was actually larger than I pictured it. But even if the size was somewhat seemingly sumptuous, it’s important to keep in mind how many occupants were there. I don’t remember the exact number, but I imagine it was quite cramped. While walking through the house I tried to recollect what I’d read in Anne Frank’s Diary back in the sixth or seventh grade. Even though I couldn’t remember every detail or many of them at all actually, it was still surreal wandering the house that has become so famous and is a symbol of the holocaust.

Next, Nick and I visited a much more light hearted museum—The Erotic Museum. It was… interesting. And that’s all I’ll say about that. It was a very large contrast between the Anne Frank house and the Erotic Museum. But that’s Amsterdam. The rest of the evening we wandered the canals and the chilly streets.

The next morning Nick and I hiked our way to the Van Gogh museum. I was somewhat disappointed with the museum. Although it did house many of Van Gogh’s great pieces, the layout was not very appealing. I’m not an art buff and don’t know many of Van Gogh’s pieces, but I was hoping to see some of the famous masterpieces, like Starry Starry Night. But either I couldn’t find it or it’s not there.

We casually strolled down the Red Light District during the night. From what I’ve heard of Amsterdam, it’s a very liberal city. I found it odd walking along and seeing the girls in the windows with red lights shining. It’s like window shopping—but for women.

The rest of our time in Amsterdam, we mostly wandered around. I wouldn’t say that Amsterdam is the most beautiful city, but it holds some sort of charm. Maybe it’s the free spirit. It wasn't like Thanksgiving at home with turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie. It really didn't feel like Thanksgiving at all-- especially because I wasn't with my family. But of course I feel very fortunate that Nick was able to visit me in Europe. And Amsterdam was only the beginning of our European excursions.

Amsterdam and things.

A blog about Amsterdam is soon to come. I just have to find the time. Until then, I'll just update briefly:

Nick and I eventually (long story) found each other in the Amsterdam airport. Obviously we made it to/from Amsterdam safely. We've been braving the Danish winter (including snow) for the past few days. Tomorrow we're heading to Paris for the weekend!